A monster lives in me.

It happened so fast. I didn't know what to do. One minute my brother and I were playfully fighting like we always did when we were younger. I pushed him back as he stood up. I charged after him and pushed him. The push was to much. He stumbled backward. Then he fell down the stairs. He was normally ok and would run up.

I looked down and saw his body, movement less. "Come on Adi, stop that." when he didn't respond I slowly walked down the stair, finally stopping where he was. I threw my arms around him to pull him up, but he rolled over. Eyes closed, head bleeding. No, it couldn't have happened again.

I placed my ear to his chest, no heartbeat. I began chest compressions as I yield. "Stefan!!!!! Stefan, please!!!!!!" my years blinded me of the blood on my hands. There was noway I killed my own brother.

The look on Damon's face the other day as he walked into my room was just plain awful. After instructing me to redecorate my room, stating that it was "too Stefan." With a sigh, I brushed more paint onto the wall, small blots of gray splashing onto my sweatshirt.
I halted for a moment, "Why the hell did I even listen to hi-" I was cut off by the sickening thud from down below. I threw the paint brush onto the mat and walked towards the staircase, leaning over to look. Adrian and Eli weren't in sight, so I began to walk back to my room. I suddenly stopped when Elizabeth's shattering yells echoed throughout the house.
Before I could step another foot, I sped downstairs. The scene before me was gruesome, blood everywhere. Her eyes glanced up to me, all pink and mascara-stained.
"E-Eli?" I looked down to the unmoving body of Adrian.

No, I cant let him die, He was one of the last things keeping me grounded. I worked as hard as I could on pressing his chest, trying to start his heart. I looked up at his green eyes with my blue ones pleading. "He's not waking up. Please...I" I just looked back at Adrian's face. More blood dripped down onto it. I wiped it away quickly as I began the chest compressions again. I wasnt going to let my twin die, not because of me. But I knew deep down in my heart he was gone.

All thoughts seized to exist as I knelt down next to the crying Elizabeth and the lifeless Adrian. Listening carefully, the thuds that I was used to hearing were now quieted, nowhere to be found inside his unmoving body. Another life gone.
My eyes burned as I rested my hand on Eli's shaking shoulder, "He's g-gone, Elizabeth," I inhaled sharply, "I can't hear a pulse." The burning sensation grew as I watched the rapid tears slide down her pink cheeks.

No he can't. "No! He's can still be....be...," I kept doing trying to revive him. I slowed down as I began to give up. I crid even more as I laid my forehead down on his chest. "I killed him Stefan. I murdered my own brother." I cried even more as I sat up. I pulled his head up to my chest, staining my white shirt with his blood. I ran my fingers through his hair as I cried into it. He was the fifth person I killed.

"I'm a monster."

I shook my head feverishly, lightly embracing Eli, so her head was resting against my shoulder. Not knowing how to really comfort, my fingertips lightly caressed her hair, "You're not a monster. Don't tell yourself that. If there's a monster in the room, it's me." My eyes burned even further, thinking of the countless victims of my Ripper days.
"It was an accident, all just an accident."
The burning thought was rushing through my head, 'Maybe Damon should compel her to forget all of this.' The thought sent a pang of hurt through my already ripping heart.

I leaned into his shoulder. I was a killer from birth, starting with my mother. Now my latest victim was my twin brother. What was I supposed to do? Act like I didn't push him down the stairs to his death? What about Matt? He and Adarian were close friends. I have ruined a lot of lives all at my fingertips. "I didn't mean to. I can't forgive myself." I never would.

I could feel my eyes soften even more; if that was even possible, for they were the softest they had ever been since my human years.
"It's alright to feel guilty right now. Everyone feels bad after they kill someone, it's just natural." I shook my head at probably the stupidest explanation I had ever given. I inhaled sharply once more, "Eli, do you want me to get Damon to...to make you forget?"

I sniffled a little as I continued to run my fingers through his hair. Stefan brought up the topic of Damon compelling me to forget. I placed my chin on Adi's head. "No. I need to remember this." I fished around my pocket with my free hand. I opened up the dial pad and pressed up Mystic Falls Police. "I have to call this in. It will be wrong if I didn't."

I watched as her hand disappeared into her pocket, pulling out with her phone in hand. I set into panic mode, "Are you sure you want to do this?" My voice dropped down to a whisper, "I could bury him in the backyard; tell everyone he went off to college." My hands were now pressed at my temples, rubbing deep circles.

"Everyone in Mystic Falls knows our family is surrounded by death. I want to do this. It wouldn't be great for his memory. I'm sorry." I pressed the call button.

"The Salvatore Boarding house..... My brother is dead..... Thank you." I hung the phone up as I placed it down "They are coming. If you don't want to stay you don't have to." I continued to rub Adi's head. I kissed his head. I was a monster, no matter what Stefan said.

I shook my head, pure panic settling down, "I need time to think." I began to stand up, blood smeared on my shoulder as well as the knees of my jeans. Looking down at the crimson substance, I cringed. Reality set in. "He's dead." I whispered to myself, as a small confirmation. The idea was still wrapping around my head when my feet touched the edge of the forest, listening intently to the far-off sirens. It was then that the burning sensation became too much, resulting in a ladder effect of rapid tears to spill over my cheeks, splashing down onto the shirt stained with my nephew's blood. Another life lost.

I watched as Stefan walked away. My cheeck tested on top off my brothers head, the salt in my years burning my eyes. I know it really hasn't hit me yet, but I know it will before the day is over. I took my brothers life and I took it not just from him but from all of his friends, Stefan and Damon. I could hear the sirens approaching as I cried harder. We never locked the doors so I knew the EMT's would get in quickly, no doubt without media here as well.

"I'm sorry Adi. I wish I could take that back." I cried harder as the door burst open and the men followed my cries. I placed Adarian down on the stairs and stood up. I got out of the way as the men placed his lifeless body on the stretcher after taking pictures.

Damon landed lightly on the roof of the boarding house just in time to hear the sirens. They seemed to be heading this way he thought, his eyes narrowing. "Stefan?" He said jumping into his bedroom window. The strong smell of paint and the faint smell of blood hit him like a brick wall as he landed on his floorboards.

"Care to tell me why theres..." He said looking down over the banister, but the words were knocked out of him when he found his answer. "It wasn't me." He said walking down the stairs to get a better look. One less Salvatore to worry about.

The sirens roared louder. Feeling absolutely useless outside, I ventured back inside. Various men in uniform were rushing around, cameras and gurneys spread throughout the house. In the corner was Elizabeth, watching the entire scene as if it were a dream or a film.
A groan escaped my lips as I heard the voice from above, resulting in my head to snap up and look, "We know that." My eyes were still glassy and pink. I rubbed my eyes before walking over to the stairs and sitting down, trying my hardest to access everything, "It feels like he's still here. I don't know why, but it just does. It's like I can feel him." My eyes lightly narrowed in confusion.

He dropped down from the stairs, careful not to touch the body laying there. "This is what happens when you bring more Salvatores into the house brother! The weaker ones die. It's only a matter of time before the others follow in his footsteps." He whispered as he passed his brother to get to his drinks cupboard.

"And i don't know about you but im feeling top of my game." He smirked raising his glass. "To us." He said giving Stefan a wink before downing his drink.

I shook my head feverishly at his nonchalant persona, "What the hell is the matter with you?" I hissed, voice rising with each word. I placed my face in my hands, my eyes peeking through the cracks in between my fingers to glance at the lifeless body. "What happened to you?" I asked in a mere whisper as my eyes stayed on the motionless Adrian.

"Me? Nothing, never felt better." He said leaning on the back of the sofa with his glass of whiskey. "Such a waste." He tutted shaking his head. All that blood he could have had and another Salvatore he couldn't add to his list.

"A little wake up call. Thanks for that by the way. Would never have returned to being me if you and Elena hadn't pointed out how emotional i was getting. Phew that could have been disaterious, thanks for the heads up brother." He smirked raising his glass as if in toast. "You wont have to worry about me feeling ever again. It'll be just like old times."